


Six Sentence Philinda

by cminerva



Category: Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. (TV)
Genre: Angst, Christmas Cookies, Christmas Fluff, Christmas Presents, Christmas Smut, F/M, Fix-It of Sorts, Fluff, Grief/Mourning, Halloween Smut, Lola - Freeform, Philinda - Freeform, Tahiti, daisy gets her revenge, mom and dad are getting it on, petulant phil, practical jokes from melinda, presidential au, still mostly fluffy though, the fabled mustache makes an appearance
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-09-02
Updated: 2020-08-16
Packaged: 2020-10-05 07:57:11
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 28
Words: 3,119
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20485496
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cminerva/pseuds/cminerva
Summary: A mostly unrelated series of ficlets based on prompts. Cute, silly, a little sexy...all Philinda. Feel free to submit a prompt!Originally written for Six Sentence Sunday on Tumblr.





	1. Crush

**Author's Note:**

  * For [hereforthephilindafics](https://archiveofourown.org/users/hereforthephilindafics/gifts).

> Prompt by hereforthephilindafics: “Phil is jealous of May’s crush on Thor and she decides to convince him otherwise"

Melinda May was very familiar with Phil Coulson’s face and could read his expressions like no one else.

She knew the way his jaw would clench when he was stressed or angry, the way his lips would part when he was surprised, and she knew that the creases at the corners of his eyes would deepen when he was amused. The current tension in his jaw and the set of his lips indicated a different emotion: petulance.

"Still mad about Thor, huh?”

“I just don’t understand why you have to agree so _forcefully_ every time someone mentions how attractive he is.”

Melinda smirked and moved her hands down Phil’s torso in apology, aiming to elicit another expression altogether.


	2. Noises

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Prompt by hereforthephilindafics (I can’t find the exact prompt in our messages, but I think I captured all the specifics!)

The first time, she thought it was porn. Proof her hero was just another gross human.

A few nights later, the sounds coming from Coulson’s room definitely sounded like someone getting themselves off. Daisy buried her head under the covers and promised herself she would look for a new room as soon as possible.

The next night, a too familiar voice interrupted Coulson’s groans with a commanding, “Phil, _be quiet_” and Daisy wished she could quake the earth hard enough for it to swallow her whole.

In the meantime, she would dare May to deny her budget request for the best noise canceling headphones SHIELD could buy.


	3. Jokes

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Prompt by hereforthephilindafic: Daisy finding (extra large) condoms in the communal showers and connecting them to Phil & Melinda. I took some liberties with the original prompt!

Leaving the box of (extra large) condoms half out of Phil’s gym bag where Daisy would stumble across them had been a practical joke. In between retching and rolling her eyes at Melinda’s teasing, Daisy laughed a bit and even made a few jokes about her “parents” getting it on.

“Please tell me the condoms are for the communal supply cupboard and I don’t actually have to put these back in Coulson’s bag.”

“Oh no, we don’t need those anymore. Allows for a lot more spontaneity.”

Daisy could have done without that mental image; she definitely could have done without the wink from Melinda as she walked away.


	4. Payback

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Prompt by hereforthephilindafics: “Imagine Phil’s face!” A variation on some earlier prompts.

It started with the lube Daisy came across in the communal showers when she knew damn well who had been in there earlier that day. Then she came across a bra - plain, black, nothing fancy - shoved between the couch cushions in a little used common space. A stray Captain America sock lay nearby.

Daisy collected these items (wearing gloves, naturally), along with a few others, and stored them in a box in her room. Gross, sure, but worth every ounce of revulsion as she eventually deposited the box in Coulson’s arms and revelled in the horrified look on his face.

“If you and May are gonna bang all over the base, can you at least take inventory when you’re done?”


	5. Plans

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Prompt by anissa_qiaolian: "pre show/ rookie Philinda"
> 
> Thanks for the prompt! This is my first foray into pre-show Philinda!

"Phil, why the hell are you always in such a good mood, even when we pull shit missions like this one?"

"Because one day I'm gonna have my own team and _I’ll_ be running the missions. Why the eyeroll, think I won't?"

"Oh I know you will, I'm just visualizing the collection of nerds you'll assemble for your very own dream team."

"Mock all you want Melinda May, but you'll be the first one I recruit."

This earned him another eyeroll and a smirk, because they both knew she’d say yes.


	6. Home

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Prompt by nightsisterkaris: "Daisy making a point of leaving so that philinda can *christen* their new house"
> 
> Thanks for the prompt!

“Love the new place, but I should probably head out so the homeowners can settle in _properly_.” 

Daisy was overdoing it a bit with the suggestive tone and constant winking. Her efforts were wasted on Coulson and May, who merely responded with a benign smile and bored eyes respectively.

“Okay bye lovebirds, I hope you _really enjoy_ your new home.”

“What do you think Mel, should tell her how many times we’ve already _really enjoyed_ every room of the new place?”

“Not if we want her to visit us again.”


	7. Frosting

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Prompt by nightsisterkaris: "May tries to cook a birthday cake for Phil. It fails. They find another use for the icing..."

Phil Coulson was a big fan of homemade seafoam icing. While traditionally enjoyed on chocolate cake, he had recently developed a fondness for licking it off of Melinda May's nipples. In fact, he thought he might prefer it that way.

"I'm beginning to think you ruined the cake on purpose just so we could do this."

Melinda snorted. "Yeah, we'll go with that."


	8. Small

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Prompt by kelly_midged: "height difference!!!! small x tall cs may is small and her head fits right under phil's chin"
> 
> Thanks for the prompt!

Melinda did not like to be reminded that she was - high heeled boots and badass energy aside - a small person.

Here on Tahiti, bare feet sinking into the warm sand and black wardrobe abandoned in favor of something flowy and, god forbid, _pretty_, she felt small. The vastness of the love she felt for Phil and the ever present grief that loomed over them both served to remind her of how tiny and frail she was in the face of those powerful emotions. 

She felt small in stature too when Phil held her as they stared at the ocean, his larger frame wrapping around her as his chin rested lightly on her head. When she first discovered that Phil was dying, she’d thought losing him would leave her smaller and weaker than she’d ever felt before. But now, after finally acknowledging the true depth of the bond between them and knowing that loving him and being loved made her part of something bigger than either of them, she wasn’t sure she’d ever feel small again.


	9. Security

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Prompt by kelly_midged: “AU: phil as president, melinda as secret service”
> 
> Thanks for the prompt! My dream is that someone will write the full thing one day!

He’d been struck by Agent May the first day she’d joined his Secret Service detail, mostly because she’d looked so tiny next to Agent Mackenzie. President Coulson had never had cause to doubt the abilities of his security detail and the new agent radiated confidence and calm, so her size was more of a marvel than cause for concern. The burden of running the most powerful country in the free world weighed heavily upon him; over the next year of his presidency Coulson exchanged no more than a handful of words with Agent May, yet her steady presence at his side soothed him even on the darkest days.

Coulson became so accustomed to May’s quiet, professional presence in his periphery that when she appeared before him in a sparkling silver dress - blending in for the black tie event at the embassy - he momentarily forgot how to breathe; she was _stunning_.

“Everything okay, Mr. President?” 

Her dark brown eyes watched him with concern and Coulson’s jaw snapped closed as he swallowed nervously; everything was very much _not okay_.


	10. Lola

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Prompt by Fierysky: "philinda + may driving lola"
> 
> Thank you for the prompt!
> 
> *Triple counting this as the Philinda + may driving prompt, another response to the pre-show/rookie Philinda prompt from anissa_qiaolian, and a prequel of sorts to my fic "Foreplay". That's a lot of ground to cover for six sentences, but I made it work!

This op had turned out to be a mixed experience as far as Melinda was concerned: the scenery was gorgeous and the firefight with the target's henchmen had been particularly exhilarating, but the tiny dress she'd been forced to wear for her cover and the hideous thing on Phil’s face he called a mustache definitely put a damper on her enjoyment of the mission.

Now they were driving through the Italian countryside in Lola - how Phil had convinced Fury to let him bring it on the op she'd never know - and they still had over an hour to go before they would meet up with the rest of the team. Melinda was just beginning to appreciate the skimpy skirt of her dress, her bare thighs warming against the soft leather of Lola's passenger seat, when Phil brought the car to a sudden stop.

She immediately assumed there was trouble, but Phil's sparkling eyes and soft smile put her at ease.

"Melinda, do you want to drive?"

Her heart leapt at the knowledge that Phil trusted her with his precious car; the moment he shaved that ugly mustache off, she was definitely going to kiss that man.


	11. Jealous

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Prompt by kelly_midged: "jealousy fic"
> 
> Thanks for the prompt!

“I just want her to love me.” Phil’s voice was heavy with longing and his eyes flashed with a bitter sheen.

Melinda rolled her eyes so hard she thought she might have pulled something.

“Phil, it’s nothing against you; Skittles is a rescue dog and she’s attached to Daisy because that’s who brought her in.”

He continued to pout and glare at Daisy, who cuddled her dog and pointedly ignored Phil’s distress. Melinda sighed and dropped a light kiss to Phil’s head before leaving him to stew in his jealousy.


	12. Games

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Prompt by kelly_midged: “playing video games!!”

"You know, when Daisy said I could find you in your office playing a video game she'd recommended, this was not what I was expecting."

Melinda pointed at the farming simulator game displayed on Phil's computer and he smiled slightly while continuing to maneuver his little farmer across the screen.

"Were you expecting something more like Call of Duty? Got enough of that in reality, thanks."

Melinda rolled her eyes, but pulled up a chair and rested her chin in her hand as she watched Phil's little avatar run around its farm, planting crops and wearing itself out chopping trees. After several in game days had passed and Melinda was still engrossed in his farmer’s exploits, Phil pressed a soft kiss to her cheek and silently offered her the mouse.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Imagine the farming simulator of your choosing. My fave is Stardew Valley.


	13. Break

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Prompt by hereforthephilindafics: "Phil is exhausted because all May wants to do is f*ck"
> 
> (The smut is implied! This fic is still mostly holding onto its T rating.)

"Goddamn, Melinda," Phil panted, collapsing onto the mattress. "That was incredible but, and don't take this the wrong way, I think I might need a break, for a few hours at least."

Melinda smirked and rolled over so that her bare legs entwined with his.

"You sure?"

"We've been having sex nearly non-stop since I got back to the base three hours ago," Phil groaned, throwing an arm across his eyes. "I'm an old man, Melinda; have mercy."


	14. Soundtrack

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Prompt by nightsisterkaris: "Phil tries to find a soundtrack that May would like"
> 
> Thanks for the prompt!

“I know, I’m making us late, but I was trying to put together a soundtrack of sorts for our trip."

"Phil, it's a two hour drive and our "trip" is a glorified supply run; I think we could have managed with the radio," Melinda rolled her eyes, but looked at him expectantly. "Well, where is it?"

"Ah, well Daisy started helping with the track list and by the time she was done I knew you wouldn't want it."

"Let me guess, heavy doses of what she once referred to as ‘baby-making music’?"

"Yeah, pretty much."


	15. Lines

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Prompt by nightsisterkaris: "Phil uses a stupid pickup line on May"
> 
> Thanks for the prompt! This was _heavily_ inspired by the interview with Clark and Ming where he read some of the pick-up lines they considered for the Tahiti flashbacks.

“Are you a sea lion? Because I can see you lying in my bed tonight.”

Melinda grimaced, then bit her lip briefly before bursting into laughter. Wine-drunk Melinda was quickly becoming one of Phil’s favorite people.

“Phil, that’s _terrible_!”

“Yeah, well you haven’t heard the one about the drill sergeant yet.”


	16. Privacy

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Prompt by nightsisterkaris: "Mack walks in on Philinda in Phil's office one morning, doesn't make a sound, closes the door, and stands guard outside."
> 
> Thanks for the prompt!

Mack had accidentally witnessed Hunter and Bobbi going at it enough times to be very cautious about how he approached most any room on the base.

He hadn't realized the Director's office was also an area to be wary of, though maybe he should have seen that coming too. Mack was grateful to be spared the sight of any exposed body parts, yet what _was_ on display seemed much more intimate.

Mack quickly pulled himself back from the doorway and stationed himself outside the office. He didn't think any of the other agents would be traumatized by the Director holding hands with his second-in-command, but maybe a little enforced privacy was in order. At least until he taught everyone on the base how to use a damn lock.


	17. Shirt

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Prompt by kelly_midged: "may wearing phil's bigass shirt"
> 
> Thanks for the prompt!

"Phil, I'm in quarantine; I need company, not stuff," Melinda told him.

"I just figured you might want to wear something a bit more comfortable," Phil replied, sliding a bag through the tray connecting her containment unit to the rest of the lab.

Melinda frowned at him but rummaged through the bag before pulling out one of Phil's Captain America t-shirts.

"Really, Phil?"

Phil opened his mouth to talk her into wearing what he knew to be one of her favorite pajama tops but Melinda was already stripping off her tank top and pulling on his shirt, which completely engulfed her small frame.

"Thanks for the shirt Phil, but you get to explain to the kids why you knew I'd want it."


	18. Fire

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Prompt by kelly_midged: “philinda cooking on base”
> 
> Thanks for the prompt!

It was a cozy scene, Phil prepping dinner at the stove and Melinda patiently working around him to make tea for herself, until Phil lit a burner that he realized too late was covered with sticky splotches from an earlier meal. The resulting flames were quickly extinguished as Melinda leaned over a shocked Phil to pour cold water from her kettle over the little fire.

"My baby's a firefighter," Phil said in mock awe, wrapping his arms around Melinda's waist and batting his eyelashes at her.

Melinda rolled her eyes and moved back to the sink to refill the kettle.

"But not a housekeeper," she replied dryly. "We should probably have another chat with the kids about keeping the kitchen clean."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This silly scene is based on something that actually happened when my spouse and I were dating. I was the Phil in that moment.


	19. Cookies

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Pointless fluff that I wrote while listening a song about Christmas cookies.

“Oh my god,” Daisy’s eyes lit up as she looked at the counter covered in sugar cookies still warm from the oven. “Are we going to decorate Christmas cookies like a _family_?”

“First of all, we _are_ a family,” Phil told her. “And second, yes we absolutely are.”

“Hope you like Captain America shields with your eggnog,” Melinda told Daisy wryly.

“Hey, I only made one shield last time,” Phil said, his protest drowned out by Daisy’s excited voice calling for the rest of the team to join them.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I really wanted to do a whole six sentence holiday series but life hasn't really been giving me much of a break lately, so I'll just sprinkle in some holiday fluff here and there within this fic. I have a few other non-holiday "chapters" to add soon, though guard your eyes because one of them is definitely rated M!!
> 
> I will accept holiday prompts, but the way life is going right now I can't make any promises about anything actually getting written!


	20. Treat

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> !!!! WARNING !!!! RATED M !!!!
> 
> This is an alternate version of Promptober's "Trick or Treating" prompt. hereforthephilindafics requested a smutty version for her birthday and here we are!
> 
> If you'd rather read the family friendly version, you can do so here: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20854469/chapters/50028932

“Trick or treat, Phil.”

Phil swallowed nervously and tried to guess at what game Melinda was really playing; the fact that they were in their shared bedroom gave him some hope that he would enjoy whatever it was.

“Treat?”

Phil knew he’d made the right choice when Melinda immediately dropped to her knees and unzipped his pants, freeing his cock and teasing it with her tongue.

“Better than candy,” Melinda murmured, winking up at Phil before taking him in her mouth.

Phil groaned and wound his fingers through her hair; he had to agree.


	21. Mistletoe

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Can't write holiday-themed fic without mistletoe, right?

"Okay, who the hell put this up?" Melinda demanded, stretching up on her toes to rip the mistletoe out of the doorway leading into the Playground’s kitchen.

Phil watched her and smiled.

"Not gonna leave that up, even for me?"

"Like you need this kind of encouragement."

"True," Phil replied, pulling Melinda close, "but it is very festive."

Melinda made a show of being annoyed, but she didn't object when Phil hung the mistletoe above their bed later that day.


	22. Big

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hereforthephilindafics requested this conversation between May and Maria Hill AGES ago and I wrote this AGES ago, so apologies for the delay in posting! 
> 
> Warning: brief crude language :)
> 
> (This is kinda related to the first "chapter" so that's fun!)

“And damn, those _arms_; I just want to sink my teeth into them!”

Melinda laughed and nearly snorted her whiskey as Maria snapped her teeth at the air.

"Phil gets so jealous when I talk about Thor,” Melinda said, still laughing. “Not that he has any reason to be jealous seeing as he has such a big-”

"Oh my god he’s like my _brother_, don't you dare say it!" Maria yelled while covering her ears.

“What, the man has a big dick!"


	23. Gifts

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Merry Christmas to those who celebrate it, and to those who don't - I hope you've had a lovely day too!
> 
> Here's another Christmas-themed Philinda fic before I face the stress of holiday travel.

"Phil, when you said you were getting the kids toys for Christmas I thought you meant new tech, lap equipment, motorcycle parts, not _actual_ toys."

“Christmas is a time for _fun_, Melinda,” Phil told her, barely glancing up from the mess of presents and wrapping supplies surrounding him on the office floor.

Melinda rolled her eyes but helped him wrap the giant Jenga set before moving on to the pile of video games and oversized candy bars.

When they’d finished putting bows on the last of the board games, Melinda handed Phil a box to open and watched as his cheeks turned as red as the crushed velvet on the lingerie inside. 

“Santa should hurry up and deliver those presents,” Melinda said, smirking a little as she took the box from Phil’s hands. “Mrs. Claus has more than just milk and cookies waiting for him at home.”


	24. Costume

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> !!! Warning M-ish content ahead !!!
> 
> A belated gift for hereforthephilindafics who requested smut featuring a Mrs. Claus outfit. A follow-up to Chapter 23: Gifts.

Melinda moaned and tightened her grip on the headboard as her thighs trembled but she froze as a niggling thought finally succeeded in distracting her from everything Phil was doing with his tongue. She glanced down and huffed in annoyance at the white fluff at the hem of her slip that hid Phil's face from view.

"This costume isn't going to become a _thing_, is it?" she asked, tugging the material out of the way and glaring down at Phil as he rested happily between her legs.

Phil grinned and nipped at her inner thigh.

"Oh it's definitely becoming a thing, _Mrs. Claus_."

Melinda sighed but allowed Phil - and his tongue - to keep her in the Christmas spirit.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy new year :)


	25. Symbols

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Set after episodes 5x17 & 18. The scene I wanted but couldn't have because Phil just INSISTED on being an idiot.

Phil finally managed to find Melinda alone in one of the Lighthouse’s many hallways and, before she could storm off again, he handed her a lemon. 

“What the hell is this?” she demanded, glaring at Phil suspiciously.

“Apparently in the future it means ‘I like you’,” he told her, stepping close and leaning down slightly so that his forehead rested against hers.

“I don’t know the future’s symbol for ‘I love you’,” he said softly. 

“How about the symbol for ‘sorry I’ve been an idiot’?” Melinda asked wryly, causing Phil to chuckle.

“I’ll ask.”


	26. Medication

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Set towards the end of episode 3x17, The Team.

Melinda was moving slowly, every step sending out spikes of red-hot pain from her still fresh injury, and she sighed with relief when she reached the kitchen and saw Phil with a glass of some amber liquid.

“One for me,” she instructed.

Phil immediately reached for another glass but stopped himself and glanced pointedly at Melinda’s side.

“How much medication are you on?” he asked.

Melinda snorted as if the very idea of pain meds was laughable.

“That’s what I thought,” Phil commented wryly, before grabbing the glass and pouring her a very generous portion.


	27. Stories

“Oh my god, I’m so boooored,” Daisy said with a long, drawn out groan. They were on day six of quarantine and the lively young woman was about to crawl out of her skin at the lack of freedom.

Phil smiled at her and offered to share a few stories from his days as a young agent, including a few featuring a young Melinda May. Daisy perked up immediately.

“One time we were chasing a suspected Hydra arms dealer through Cairo,” Phil began but was immediately interrupted by a sharp glare from Melinda.

“No cases that involved one or both of us naked,” she instructed and Phil grinned as he thought how that would certainly limit his collection of acceptable stories.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A lighthearted quarantine story for you. Hope you all are safe and have access to the resources you need right now <3


	28. Stay

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> SPOILERS FOR 7X13. 
> 
> Finally watched the AoS finale and this is my immediate response. I'm sure there will be more to come. Please don't continue if you haven't seen 7x13!

Melinda left the academy’s lecture hall and headed toward the parking deck, more than ready to head home and unwind after an emotion-filled day. She tried - and immediately failed - to keep a smile off her lips as she approached the man leaning against a very familiar red convertible that was blocking the way to her own car.

“I didn’t think you’d take me up on my invitation quite so soon,” she said, her voice warm. 

“Thought I’d stayed away long enough,” Phil replied with a shrug, moving to open the passenger side door and smiling as Melinda slid inside as if she’d been expecting him to pick her up from work all along.

“How long can you stay?” Melinda asked, catching Phil’s hand in her own before he could move away.

“As long as you’ll have me, I think.”


End file.
